


Thank the Sun Just for Shining

by justanothersong



Series: Hazel Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 09:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3804523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanothersong/pseuds/justanothersong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you wanna be somebody else<br/>If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself<br/>If you wanna be somebody else<br/>Change your mind</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thank the Sun Just for Shining

Castiel could have gone home the night before, packed up his and Hael’s things and caught the first flight out of O’Hare and back to Pittsburgh and their grayscale suburban life. In truth, he hadn’t really needed to attend at all, or so he had thought before setting out; Uncle Zacariah had never cared much for Castiel and there was little likelihood that the old man would have left anything in his estate to Castiel. He was surprised, however, to find, that much as old Uncle Zach had disliked him, the old man had a soft spot for Castiel’s two year old daughter, and had left Hael a sizable college fund. For that, at least, Castiel was grateful he had made the trip for the reading of the will.

Of course, it had been nice to see his siblings and his cousins, a wide portion of his family turning out to see if they had been left a few more coins for their coffers in Zachariah’s will. Part of it was just being away from Pennsylvania and visiting his hometown; there was something about the lake air and the liveliness of the city that Castiel missed, much as he tried to pretend otherwise.

And there was something about being away from his dreary home life, if he were being totally honest with himself.

 

There had been a time when things didn’t seem so drab, when his life was an old barn polished up for a wedding, with little twinkling lights like fireflies flitting around him all the time. When Meg, sarcastic but sweet, had eyes only for him and their future was bright on the horizon.

How things had changed.

Meg had returned to work at the hospital when Hael was a few weeks old. Castiel had a good job but they couldn’t pay the mortgage on his salary alone; the baby had been unexpected but they had managed it well, finagling their hours so that one of them was almost always home, and finding a daycare center with a good reputation for the few times they couldn’t quite swing it.

That had all changed, though.

Castiel sighed and lifted his toddler daughter onto his knee, smiling fondly down at her big blue eyes, twin mirrors of his own, even as her pudgy cheeks and bow-shaped mouth pulled into a childish frown at the interruption; she had been so close to finally catching the pigeon that had been circling her father’s feet, searching for crumbs, when he pulled her to his lap, seated on a stone bench outside of the lawyer’s office building.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Castiel told her, offering the warm smile that only she was able to draw from his anymore. “I know a park where we can go and you can chase all the little ducklings. It’ll be

 

_Good for us, Clarence,” Meg said with a crooked smile, the teasing little twist of her lips that he could never resist and using the nickname she had given him not long after they first met. “Look, baby, this city is… it has too many memories, Cas. For you, for both of us. Pennsylvania will be a good start.”_

_Castiel sighed, eyes drifting to his infant daughter, sleeping soundly in her bassinet. He and his wife had been up late into the night, discussing a job offer that had come her way. He knew that Meg wanted something beyond working the late shift at the hospital; she was a smart and capable nurse, and Niveus Pharmaceutical had been teasing at offering her a job for months._

_They had finally made the offer, wanting Meg to head up a new office of drug reps; there was something about her, a charismatic streak that made doctors and administrators listen. She would be perfect for the job – a job that would move their small family from Chicago to new stomping grounds in Pittsburgh._

_“I’d have to find a new job,” Castiel pointed out with a sigh. He leaned back against his pillows and rubbed his eyes, Meg seated cross-legged on her side of the bed, still frowning at him. He looked up at her and sighed again. “I moved here for my job, Meg, you know that. I like working at Deloitte.”_

_Meg sighed, eyes cast down at the folder of paperwork from Niveus that she had been paging through in her lap._

_“You moved here with him, Castiel. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that.” She sighed and looked up at him, brown eyes unreadable. “Why can’t we go to a place that’s just ours? It’ll be  
_

 

“-good for you to spend more time playing outside,” Castiel informed Hael, who had busied herself playing with the buttons on his trench coat. Castiel sighed, glancing around at the towering skyscrapers that surrounded them.

He recognized them all, each bringing to mind another memory long since pushed away and buried beneath a small mountain of regret. He tried to remind himself that he loved his wife; Meg had been everything to him, for a time.

If she hadn’t saved his life the night his sister had dragged him to the emergency room, too drunk to stand or walk or even speak properly, than she had in the days after, when they met for coffee and talked for hours. Meg had someone too, a man she had devoted herself to, only to lose him. They understood each other all too well, and her friendship had kept him from crawling back into that bottle. 

It had been hard to leave Dean; it had been harder still not to bury himself in excess in an attempt to blot away all of the memories. Meg had seen to it that Castiel survived, and they promised to fight their way through anything else that came to threaten their happiness, together.

Meg took on the world after that, all on her own. She’d left Castiel and their daughter behind in the dust. She’d flourished in Pittsburgh, in her new life their; 

Niveus paid her well, so much so that Castiel didn’t even need to work full time anymore, taking freelance work in part time hours from a home office. He cherished the time with Hael, of course, loving that he could spend so much of her early years right at her side, watching her grow and flourish, but it had so quickly become just them, father and daughter, her mother rarely in sight.

There were client meetings all day, cold calls on physician offices and medical groups, new literature on new drugs to memorize and new premiums to distribute, pens and mugs and notepads and sample size packages of new pharmaceuticals. Then there were late meetings at the office, learning about new directions the company was taking, the areas they were looking to expand business, and drinks with prospective clients, doctors to woo and executives to entertain.

They were lucky to see her out the door in the morning, leather briefcase swinging at her side while her heels click-clacked down the pristine walkway paved in perfect red bricks on her way to a late model car worth more than five years’ rent on their first apartment.

 

“We can go have dinner with Aunt Anna tonight,” Castiel told Hael, and the little girl smiled at mention of the redheaded relative that had become her favorite overnight. She had clung to Anna’s leg for most of the previous day’s barbeque, happy only when held in the woman’s arms, watching her two small dogs run around after the cookie pieces that Hael dropped to them.

It had been nice to be around family again; Anna had visited Castiel after he’d first left Dean, and found herself so charmed by the city that she’d stayed. Castiel had taken a hotel room in the city for his stay, but had been spending more time at Anna’s small home on the northwest side of the city than anywhere else.

Part of him was happy to be around family, while another part seemed to revel in the hollow ache he felt in his chest when seeing his old stomping grounds. 

He did his best to force himself to believe that it was longing for the early days of his romance with Meg, even if his conscious mind more than new better.

“We can go see where Daddy used to live, would you like that?” he asked his daughter quietly. Not quite yet two years old, Hael watched him speak with a curious expression, even if she couldn’t really grasp what he was telling her. 

“Later, maybe. After the park,” he amended, remembering his promise about the ducks. “And then we’ll pick up Aunt Anna and go to dinner at a little restaurant Daddy knows. I used to

 

_Go there all the time, with Dean,” Castiel said quietly from the passenger seat of Meg’s car. It was so beaten down and rusted that he was mildly surprised that it even moved, but Meg seemed glad enough for a working heater and a running motor._

_She followed his gaze to a small diner on the corner, then quickly tripped the car’s blinker with her thumb._

_“Well, then we won’t go there,” she announced cheerfully, making a quick left down a busy street and directing them far away from the source of unhappy memories. “It’s a big city, Clarence. We’ll find some new places, make them our own. Whattya say?”_

_Castiel smiled weakly. “Sounds like a plan,” he agreed._

_The smile she gave him in return was so bright and open, so sad and so fond that it took everything in him not to panic entirely, yank open the car door, and run._

_“It’ll be okay, Cas,” she told him. “We’ll_

 

“-go there all the time with an old friend of mine,” Castiel told Hael. Her eyelids had begun to droop and she had cuddled closer to him, pressing her head into his shoulder but still watching him speak, the simple sound of his words like a lullaby to the little girl.

Castiel sighed, the low rumble in his chest reverberating against the toddler, lulling her to sleep as her eyes slipped a little more closed.

“I think he would have liked you very much, baby,” he said quietly, letting his mind wander to an imagined life for just a moment. He dropped a soft kiss atop his daughter’s head and sighed again, closing his eyes and holding her close. “Very much,” he repeated, more to himself than to the child.

Even if he hadn’t been so lost in thought, what came next would still have startled him.

The voice called out, plucked out of his meandering memory and brought into the real world.

“Hey, Cas? Cas, is that you?”


End file.
